My property's name is Daenerys

The broad topic of marital sex in, “A Game of Thrones” by George R.R. Martin comes off at first as sweet and loving and perhaps even pleasurable for both parties. However, this is not the case. When looked into deeper, it’s very much so rape and extremely male priorities based. However, I’m fully aware that in medieval times, women were seen as lesser or inferior  to men, and were basically property. There are various lines within the book that lead me to this conclusion. These few quotes have been listed below:

“..when the moment of his pleasure came, Khal Drogo called out her name”.

“He always took her from behind, Dothraki fashion, for which Dany was grateful; that way her lord husband could not see the tears that wet her face”.

“She averted her eyes and covered herself with her hands. “No”, Drogo said”.

“...drinking in her body with his eyes”.

“When he had taken his pleasure, Khal Drogo rose from their sleeping mats to tower above her”.

In my eyes, the quotes stated above clearly indicate that Daenerys was desiring to not partake in sex with her own husband because of the obvious way she is viewed by him and men of that culture in this time. Although she is a strong and confident young woman who is finding her place being princess, or khaleesi, she is still forced to bend her own personal wants to her husband’s will and sexual desires. She doesn’t want to be naked with him and yet, Drogo physically removes her hands from her bare body so that he can have his pleasure. She is seen as property so such an extent that one of her bridal gifts is a handmaiden, Doreah, in order to train her in the womanly arts of love. I’m sorry but this is  a load “du merde”. She is being trained to sexually pleasure her husband and meet his needs, if you will. Men as this time were very bold and had no problem asserting this boldness.

Additionally, “being taken from behind” is a far less passionate way to have sex. Drogo doesn’t get to see his wife’s face during intercourse. In doing this, he is basically screaming that she is his property, and Daenerys shall do as he see fit in order to maximize his pleasure.  Not only is Drogo doing this, but it’s Dothraki fashion. Meaning that it’s common for the men of this culture to do this to their wives. Daenerys is grateful that this is common, so Drogo can’t see her face while she cries. She obviously does not want to either have sex with him or sex in this position with him or both. She’s being raped. The fact that Drogo stands up after their night together to tower over her furthers my point of property. This parallels with the way he sees himself, as king and ruler.

In conclusion, rape is very common not only in medieval times but in Dothraki culture. As women are viewed as mere property and are even trained to excel in their duties to their husbands.

Marital Rape in Medieval Times

An element of medieval queens that struck me as intriguing was how the topic of sex was handled with Custance in “The Man of Law’s Tale.” The contemporary English lines read as follows, depicting Custance’s sexual relations with her husband, Alla:

                    708   They go to bed, as it was reasonable and right;

                    709   For though wives are full holy things,

                    710  They must take in patience at night

                    711  Such sorts of necessary acts as are pleasing

                    712  To folk that have wedded them with rings,

                    713  And (they must) lay their holiness aside a little while,

                    714  As for the time being -- it can be no better.

To me, these lines read as a polite attempt to explain why Custance—who is depicted throughout the story as being the image of unadulterated Christian holiness, humility, and virtue—needs to engage in the unholy act of sex. Lines 709 and 713 in particular seem to state that Custance had to engage in sex in order to satisfy her husband, and bear him an heir. The careful wording of the sexual relations between Custance and Alla makes me perceive that sex—even within the realms of marriage—was regarded for women as merely a necessary duty rather than a pleasurable, or even consensual, act. Line 710 was particularly unsettling, for it appears as though women were expected to essentially endure sex with their husbands in order to provide heirs. The Susan Schibanoff reading quotes Elaine Tuttle Hansen, stating how Custance is the "archetypally passive" woman who "put(s) the love of a man above all other responsibilities, even above life itself" (62-3).

This passage and quote reminded me of how marital sex between royal characters in Game of Thrones is portrayed, foremost the relationship between Daenerys Targaryen and Khal Drogo. In the novel, Daenerys, a thirteen-year-old, is married off to Khal Drogo, a fierce and brutal warrior king, in order to aid in her brother’s quest for power. The initial sex scene between the characters is unsettling. Daenerys—made queen of Drogo’s people by marriage—was a scared child who was sold by her brother and forced to have sex with a savage grown man. Though terrified, she trains in the art of love making with her hand maidens in order to please her husband sexually. The relationship is then depicted as loving and consensual, and Daenerys eventually falls pregnant with an heir. It disturbs me that the rape of a young girl by a grown man was glossed over and spun into a love story. It is depicted as merely the duty of Daenerys and Custance to put aside their personal feelings in order to sexually please their husbands.

This also parallels the relations between Queen Cersai and King Robert. Robert was depicted as a drunk and negligent husband, and he never loved nor wanted to marry Cersai. Cersai—despite her later qualms with Robert—stated that she initially tried to please him as wife, but he was preoccupied with the death of his fiancé. Robert never took the time to appreciate Cersai, and the few times that they did engage in intercourse was when Robert was drunk and would come to the bedroom and force himself on Cersai when he wasn’t busy with one of his whores. Bearing children was viewed as Cersai’s queenly duty, and sex with Robert was written as an act of drunken aggression, not mutual adoration.

Additionally, the marriage of Sansa Stark into the royal family deserves examination. Sansa is a young teen who is terrified of losing her virginity to Tyrion Lannister, yet the entire castle expects her to have sex with him after they are forced to marry. Tyrion’s father orders him to impregnate her with an heir, and it is tradition for the members of the wedding party to undress the newlyweds and watch them consummate their marriage. However, Tyrion creates a deviation from this practice, for he refuses to bed Sansa before she consensually agrees to sleep with him.

Lastly, it is worth noting the sexual relationship between King Renly (who is a homosexual) and his wife Margaery Tyrell. In this relationship, traditional gender roles are switched, and Margaery is depicted as the sexually aggressive partner, as she persistently tries to initiate sex with Renly in order to impregnate herself with his child and secure her position as queen.

These examples align with Schibanoff’s quote from Genesis 1:28, which "defines the purpose of woman's creation as generative" (67). Overall, it seems that queens in medieval times were largely regarded as mere pawns for extending the royal family, and it was their job to endure unwanted sex in order to please their husbands and procure heirs.